exploring life before and after medication, the loss of intensity, and the strange calm that follows. A journey from madness to mellow. Bittersweet trade-off between wild intensity and calm, ordinary life.I still ask myself what I need more—to be with the man I love or with the son I love.
What is the cost of this freedom?
Ordinary life of a normal person Read Post »
What are the reasons to stay far from home and family? Freedom. The freedom from our parents: mine – from my parents, my son’s – from his. So we all live in different places.
I still ask myself what I need more—to be with the man I love or with the son I love.
What is the cost of this freedom?
This piece explores how bathing differs across Canada, Russia, and the UK. It brings back memories of five-minute cold showers under the watchful eye of a landlady in London, prison-style rules from a Canadian corrections officer, and even the odd excuse to start a romance during water outages in Moscow. Because every summer in Russia, hot water disappears.
How Canadian & Russian Teens Spend Holidays (And How Parents Handle It).
When Canadian and Russian families flock to Mexican resorts for spring break, their vacation styles reveal striking cultural differences in parenting philosophies and teen independence.
Spring Break in Mexico Read Post »
In Canada, school shooting drills mix police-led safety training with lessons on empathy, mental health, and community trust. The perspective of a Russian mom living in Canada, and also – her daughter experiences—hiding from “attackers,” memorizing safety acronyms, and chatting with donut-carrying officers. With strict gun laws but rare tragedies, the focus is on readiness, prevention, and keeping schools safe without losing their humanity.
Canada’s School Shooting Drills from Russian mom perspective Read Post »
In the far North of Russia in remote communities, like the village of Meynypilgyn on the Bering Sea, people like Norik, a Kereks fisherman, work to keep the indigenous Kereks culture alive along with Kereks traditions, honouring the spirits of their Kereks ancestors.
When Canadian and Russian families flock to Mexican resorts for spring break, their vacation styles reveal striking cultural differences in parenting philosophies and teen independence.
The Last Kereks: A Story of indigenous people in the Far North Russia Read Post »
Rushing from Canada to Moscow to visit Dad in intensive care — unrecognizable after just a month. Hiding shock behind forced stupid jokes. The storyteller in a spacesuit trying to trick death. Collapsing into a stranger’s arms. The sterile air, skeletal hand, Mom’s silent vigil—none of it feels real. Only the guilt remains: fear of the body that used to be so alive.
A stopover in Istanbul, a walk along cobblestone streets, Turkish cats – heirs of great Constantinople, Dad’s guidance, Turkish coffee causing a terrible headache, humiliation of women, the injustice of the whole world — and it all ended at the police station.
Istanbul, Police Station and cobble streets Read Post »
A lady finally meets a psychiatrist who cuts through her misdiagnoses (Biporar? Borderline? ADHD?), she gets the shocking truth: she’s just a “banal creative hysteric”, just a dramatic creative soul. No pills, no disorders—just a hysteroid personality type, craving admiration and creation. Now she’s torn: relief or disappointment?What is the cost of this freedom?
Completely banal creative hysteric Read Post »
Over a fancy breakfast, there’s an encounter with celebrity-turned-propagandist. Once, he scolded Bernays’ manipulation tactics; now, he deploys them, velvet words masking war. From Moscow secret bars to the red glow of the Kremlin, sickly perfection and impeccable beauty becomes oppressive, and truth slips through polished rhetoric.
What is the cost of this freedom?
Nightingale’s Lies, Michelin Mornings and Flawless Moscow Read Post »
Royal bedrooms don’t save you from loneliness if you’re not allowed to scream, kiss, or laugh outside the etiquette. When you’re raised as a princess, everything is handed to you — but you live by someone else’s rules. To descend into the ordinary, you end up sleeping on a mattress in the kitchen.Is freedom more important than propriety? Or would you choose luxury without freedom? I still ask myself what I need more—to be with the man I love or with the son I love.
What is the cost of this freedom?
Delayed flights, vanished luggage, lost passport, airport meltdown, French-Canadian bureaucracy, grief, stubborn optimism, and a ‘little black dress’. Real-time chronicling of a chaotic route via Toronto, Montreal and Dubai with Emirates as the unexpected hero and Air Canada as the ultimate mess-up.I still ask myself what I need more—to be with the man I love or with the son I love.
What is the cost of this freedom?
Flight Vancouver – Moscow Read Post »
Immigrant Longing: When a Stranger’s Mother Feels Like Home. J brings his spectacular mother to Starbucks, a desperate hug blurs borders between “here” and “home”.
In Memory of Kirill Seryogin: Kamchatka Guide Freeride Guide Read Post »
Disguised behind sunglasses and a Tilley hat, she lives as “Lesbian Brenda” – hiding from coworkers, motherhood, and expired documents. Her children prepare to fly alone to Moscow. One never to come back to Canada. She’s blocked her mother and her ex. It feels like living in a The Academy of Fools sketch – a clown released from the Cuckoo’s Nest.What is the cost of this freedom?
Brenda the Lesbian Blocks Her Loved Ones Read Post »
A reflection on family, distance, and the immigrant experience. Envy to Starbucks’ happy families. Memories of Moscow mornings – grandfather’s stories, grandmother’s pancakes, father’s steady presence – clash with the loneliness reality of a new life abroad.
Immigrant Longing: When a Stranger’s Mother Feels Like Home. J brings his spectacular mother to Starbucks, a desperate hug blurs borders between “here” and “home”.
From quiet suffering in Moscow to Caribbean cruises in Canada, this reflection contrasts how different cultures treat aging, love, and dignity in the twilight years.
Starbucks Seniors vs. Soviet-Era Suffering Read Post »
New Year feels like a melting snowman losing its buttons. But there’s J to hold everything together and put back the buttons. New Year in Moscow full of family and funny traditions – is dearly missed while living as an immigrant in Canada. New Year here is too quiet. The kids are both adored and maddening. J is becoming a new family now.
1st Day of a New Year Read Post »
A girl raised as royalty chafes against inherited privilege—both her family’s Soviet-era prestige and the psychological borders they imposed. Between silver tiaras and the allure of escape, she dissects what true sovereignty costs: rebellion or complicity?
The Crown at Soviet Olympics Read Post »
She’s convinced she’s special – a student who came “temporarily” but secretly plans to stay. Yet there are thousands like her. And instead of triumph, she’s met with harsh reality: bureaucracy, job hunting, and a drug-addicted neighbor she has to share a bathroom with.
Gagarin in Canada and the Cocaine Romeo Next Door Read Post »
A Russian contributor reflects on the deep identity crisis gripping citizens as war rages analyzed through the theory of Karl Jaspers. Beyond guilt, many question their nation’s moral path, torn between patriotism and shame. The conflict has shattered illusions, forcing painful reckoning with propaganda and reality. Some resist, others rationalize—but all grapple with what it means to be Russian. A raw exploration of collective soul-searching in dark times.
Russians Face a Crisis of National Identity Amid War Read Post »
A Russian student living in Canada shares her deep fears for her homeland and struggles with shifting identity amid Putin’s relentless war. As devastation in Ukraine reverberates globally, the article explores how Russians abroad face both internal guilt and external judgment—and why moral accountability and rebuilding national image become essential for healing.
What is the cost of this freedom?
Russian in Canada Speaks of Fear and Identity as Putin’s War Continues Read Post »
Reflective story about finding unexpected joy in taking out the trash, complete with backyard bears, folding boxes at Starbucks, and the quiet pride of adulthood.
Recycling Meditation, & My Backyard Bear Read Post »