{"id":2486,"date":"2025-08-11T12:49:16","date_gmt":"2025-08-11T12:49:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kattystories.com\/?p=2486"},"modified":"2025-08-21T07:58:50","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T07:58:50","slug":"ordinary-life-of-a-normal-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kattystories.com\/ru\/ordinary-life-of-a-normal-person","title":{"rendered":"Ordinary life of a normal person"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Ordinary life of a normal person<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

exploring life before and after medication, the loss of intensity, and the strange calm that follows. A journey from madness to mellow. Bittersweet trade-off between wild intensity and calm, ordinary life.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

For eight months now, I\u2019ve been taking the medication\u2014someday I\u2019ll gather the courage to share how it all came to light and what life was like without it. Oh no, this isn\u2019t about some run-of-the-mill depression. By month eight, I realized life had stabilized, everything around me smoothing out despite the inevitable ups and downs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So smooth – like you’re writing text in AI – hysterical, disjointed, with confusing interjections, and AI gives you a nice polished result… yeah, no other way to put it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the spring, I had to update my prescription. The medicine I was given in Canada was different from the one I had in Russia. At first, I noticed I could draw even more air into my lungs than before, breathing louder somehow. The world bloomed, scents returning\u2014my sense of smell had faded after COVID.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, the next day, we took the kayaks out. We paddled into a cove just as every boat and yacht was heading back to shore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I screamed that we were going anyway. A fury woke in me! Boundaries blurred: where was danger, where should I hesitate, where freeze, where bolt? We pushed forward\u2014the wind gusted, then began ripping the paddle from my hands. Madness took over\u2014this was the “adventure.” My shoulders nearly dislocated from the force. I almost made a break for my lighthouse again, the one ringed by triple currents, reefs, uneven seabed. Left everyone behind\u2014who was there, who was with me, none of it mattered. Only I mattered. The kayak rocked, waves sloshing inside, but stubbornness and experience and some wild, savage strength from nowhere\u2014no concrete wall ahead could\u2019ve stopped me. Danger\u2026 mmm\u2026 my favorite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But oh, how deeply I could breathe. How much air I could hold at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now what? I write calm articles. I take calm walks. I listen to calm jazz\u2014the background kind, for expensive restaurants. I drive calmly and sleep a calm sleep. Sometimes I snore, mouth gaping wide – maybe dreaming of all that air I could once gulp down. James gently closes my mouth at night and teases me in the mornings, mimicking the sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My doctor calls this “the life of a normal person.” I call it the dullest existence imaginable. So for now, I replay past adventures, reliving them in quiet astonishment, as if they belonged to someone else entirely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the point of all this? Just\u2026 calmness, I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tra-la-la\u2026 a smooth jazz wave. Tra-la-la\u2026 a soft pink dress and a mature, meaningful look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What would you choose?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

exploring life before and after medication, the loss of intensity, and the strange calm that follows. A journey from madness to mellow. Bittersweet trade-off between wild intensity and calm, ordinary life.I still ask myself what I need more\u2014to be with the man I love or with the son I love.
\nWhat is the cost of this freedom?<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,6],"tags":[43,48,44],"class_list":["post-2486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health","category-stories","tag-canada","tag-mental-health","tag-russia"],"yoast_head":"\nOrdinary life of a normal person - Katerina Mukhina<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/kattystories.com\/ru\/ordinary-life-of-a-normal-person\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ru_RU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ordinary life of a normal person - Katerina Mukhina\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"exploring life before and after medication, the loss of intensity, and the strange calm that follows. 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